Thursday, February 25, 2016
Dress shopping
Yesterday I went back to Kohl's to find a dress for Lily's Christening. Grabbed about six dresses. Was able to zip into a 16 and a snug 14. Then tried on the dress I got in both a large and an XL. The large fit better in the arms and chest, but the XL fit better over my belly, and a girl has to be able to breathe, so I bought the XL. Was so tempted to force the Large, but it is not yet time, so I'm working to accept that. Here's where I am today. I will be at peace with my current size.
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
171 lbs
171. Thank goodness. I was stuck. Just going up and down, up and down between 173, 174, 175 all month! Sheesh. Finally moving in the right direction again.
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Put a ring on it
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Weigh-in
Weighed in this morning at 173.6 lbs. Not too shabby. Starting to feel more like myself again. And my left wrist that has been hurting since Lily was born, is no longer hurting. Wahoo! Non-scale victory!
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
The number seven
179.4 lbs on the bathroom scale this morning. The number seven was a sight for sore eyes.
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Frustrated: the girl in the mirror
This morning I stepped on the scale which read 182.4 pounds. I was thrilled! I got dressed, looked in the mirror, felt great. Over my lunch break I decided to go to Kohl's to try on a few dresses since I got a gift card from dh for Christmas. I figured I could get two and wear them to work, and maybe for Lily's upcoming baptism in February.
I suddenly didn't feel so great anymore. I tried on three dresses and was devastated. I looked at my lumpy body in the three full length mirrors in the dressing room. I saw my wiggly varicose veins in all their post pregnancy glory worming their way across my calves and thighs. I saw the rolls of flesh and the back fat spilling over my bra band. I put the dresses on the fitting room rack and made it to my car before the hot tears streaked my cheeks.
I was a fat kid and always had to shop in the pretty plus section. In today's vocabulary I met the requirements for childhood obesity, but at that time the word didn't exist. I knew I had to wear bigger clothes then, but I was never disgusted or repulsed by my body. Today was the first day I ever remember feeling this way. Three minutes in front of three full length mirrors took me from on top of the world to serious self loathing.
I pulled myself together and went back to work. But I'm still perplexed. How is it that I went back to work a size 16, have lost 20 pounds since then, and am still a size 16? At the rate I'm going, I'll get back to my pre-baby weight and still be a size 16.
Just needed to rant to get it out of my system. Tomorrow will be better.
I suddenly didn't feel so great anymore. I tried on three dresses and was devastated. I looked at my lumpy body in the three full length mirrors in the dressing room. I saw my wiggly varicose veins in all their post pregnancy glory worming their way across my calves and thighs. I saw the rolls of flesh and the back fat spilling over my bra band. I put the dresses on the fitting room rack and made it to my car before the hot tears streaked my cheeks.
I was a fat kid and always had to shop in the pretty plus section. In today's vocabulary I met the requirements for childhood obesity, but at that time the word didn't exist. I knew I had to wear bigger clothes then, but I was never disgusted or repulsed by my body. Today was the first day I ever remember feeling this way. Three minutes in front of three full length mirrors took me from on top of the world to serious self loathing.
I pulled myself together and went back to work. But I'm still perplexed. How is it that I went back to work a size 16, have lost 20 pounds since then, and am still a size 16? At the rate I'm going, I'll get back to my pre-baby weight and still be a size 16.
Just needed to rant to get it out of my system. Tomorrow will be better.
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